An Attempt to Make Sense of The Fast and the Furious Franchise’s Titles
By Alex
Film franchises can be a tricky thing - while some are as carefully planned as the grid-system streets of New York (though frustratingly difficult to sit through because the first two movies don't have a fucking ending), others are like the sprawling, windy, clearly-improvised streets of some rural European town you barely remember visiting that one spring break. The latter kind can be especially difficult for the poor stiffs in the marketing department to handle, as each unexpected financial success births the next film in what was never intended to be a franchise.
Sometimes retconning is necessary (ie a little movie called Star Wars that was definitely not the fourth chapter of an epic pre-planned nine-chapter saga), or having the forethought/arrogance to just name your standalone film as if there'll be a shit-ton of sequels (usually involving a colon, or the main character's name followed by "and the..."). And there is, of course, the time-worn tradition of just slapping a 2 on the end of the second film & ascending in number from there, with an optional subtitle.
It's fitting that The Fast and the Furious franchise is far too fast and furious to stop and consider any of these possibilities, perhaps the only SIX-MOVIE franchise to not even give a fuck about any conceivable naming pattern. I feel like a plucky social worker trying to make sense of these troubled youths' shenanigans, with their cars and their bikinis and their house music, but I'll try to lay it all out for you nonetheless.
SNOOZE
By Alex
Whoa! Hey. We made a movie! It's all done & actually just got featured on The AVClub as part of the their Parameter short film competition. I was pretty excited about that. So excited I instagrammed it. YUP. Anyway, you can go watch it over here right now if that tickles your fancy. I would encourage you to do so. I would.
October Movie Playlist – HORRARTHON2K12
By Alex
Hello, dogs! Ol' DecentMess has certainly been sparse in the wake of that little movie we're still finishing up, but I have quite the sweet tooth for horror films 'round this time of year, so I couldn't resist clocking back in with another one of these. It turns out the silver lining(s playbook) of no-budget post-production is that I get a lot of (sometimes excruciating) wait-around time while one task or another is being readied/finalized in the "post house," aka "my apartment," so in spite of my business I've actually managed to check out a serious amount of horror flicks this month - I'm even keeping score over here, just for laughs. My score's embarrassingly high if you consider how many actual days of the month have elapsed, but, hey, why not try and take me on? Rack up your own points by watching all of THESE MOVIEEEES IT'S OCTOBER KIDS GET INTO IT
Times are included if you'd like to digest all of these as a massive 24hr HORRARTHON (it breaks my heart I don't have time to do that myself this year, sigh) or just take my thumbs-up and watch them at your leisure, you coward. EITHER WAY HAVE FUN WATCH MOVIES <3
Dispatch Trailer: Game Over, Man
By Edward
Well, months of tinkering (and tailoring and soldiering and spying, god that was so dumb) are finally starting to pay off. I feel so bad for the chaps at the Prometheus base camp for having dropped their inferior trailer right before Dispatch's. Lord knows their views are gonna suffer.
Fuck.
After you successfully reattach your head to your body following that amazing piece of cinematic wonderland, continue on below to see our measly trailer and tell us what you think.
ALIENS (1986)
By Alex
I kind of like movies a whole lot, so I'd like to begin slowly cataloging my thoughts on all the shit I love. I thought it best to begin what will hopefully be a series of nerdlovefests with Aliens, one of the best scifi action movies ever made. And, yes, I mean the Special Edition/Director's Cut version of it, which may be two and a half hours long, but it's pretty close to perfect.
The original Alien is a great Sci-Fi Horror movie, almost a slasher movie on a spaceship, with the monster picking off the crew one by one. James Cameron apparently saw that movie and thought it'd be better to pit an army of those monsters against an elite human military squad, that fucking genius, and the result was Aliens seven years later. If Alien is a haunted house at a theme park, Aliens is the big scary roller coaster right next to it. Me, I like the roller coaster.
Feb Movie Playlist: THE OSCARS ARE BULLSHIT
By Alex
Yeah, kids. For this month's movie playlist, I decided to take a stroll down memory lane to all the Oscar-snubbed films that throw me into a blind fury for not achieving the recognition they so deserve. But, really, I shouldn't care so much - the Oscars are, after all, total bullshit. No, really, check this out- the majority of the academy's voters are rich old white dudes, and it's just getting more and more obvious as they grow older and whiter with each passing year. After hearing enough stories (like how people voted for Crash to win best picture just because they were tired of hearing about Brokeback Mountain - yeah, that win wasn't about you, Crash, sorry) you've got to take these awards with a grain of salt. So join me, if you will, on this tour of Academy folly, to better brace ourselves for this year's batch of disappointment.
I should note that this playlist is primarily about snubs in the Best Picture-y categories (including Documentary and Foreign Film) - so I left off stuff like Jungle Fever, in which I'd love to point out Samuel L. Jackson's fucking amazing not-even-nominated supporting performance, but the film itself is pretty uneven. Jackson did eventually snag a supporting actor nomination for Pulp Fiction, but he lost to... Martin Landau in Ed Wood... Yeah. Old white dudes.
Times are included if you want to marathon this, as always. This marathon's just over twelve hours. ENJOY!
Alex’s Best & Worst Movies of 2011
By AlexHEY EVERYBODY IT'S ME ALEX
THESE ARE MY FAVORITE FILMS OF LAST YEAR AND ALSO SOME I JUST KIND OF LIKED AND ALSO SOME I JUST REALLY DIDN'T LIKE
CALM DOWN IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE
OKAY ENOUGH BUILD-UP JOIN ME AFTER THE BREAK FOR A SERIOUSLY FUN TIME
I STOP WRITING IN ALL-CAPS IN THE FULL ARTICLE I PROMISE
Double Feature: Hugo/The Artist
By Piers
A rusted trumpet stands silent in the display window of a salvation army. Records, CD’s, books, and VHS tapes gather dust in the bargain bins and cardboard boxes of thrift stores. An old man sits alone with his head in his hands in the same spot everyday outside of a senior center whose staff infantilizes him. What were they?
It is not a conversation most of us generally engage in, and why is that? Is it because the past is a shunned aspect of our humanity that we must be naïve or depressed to examine it? They say nothing good comes from dwelling on the past, right? Could it be that the future is just more thrilling and thereby more important? Blu-rays do look pretty amazing, and I still want a flying car when those finally surface. Maybe we're all just easily distracted, and understandably so. We live in a world of unrelenting distraction. Whatever the reason may be, it seems to me that we are continually targeting our achievements and ourselves for immateriality. Please do not misunderstand me. I am not suggesting we do not allow ourselves to progress, but the world isn’t a computer so why are we constantly reformatting? Set aside a day in this new year of 2012, think about why you are going so fast, and then do something you haven't done in a while.
In this week’s suggested double feature, these two films do just that!
Piers’ Most Impressive/Dissappointing Films of 2011
By Piers
Hello, Decent Mess.
My name is Piers. I'm writing you today because of a position you advertised on… Wait a minute. Okay, no that's not right. I mean my name is Piers, but this isn't about getting a job. I mean if you are hiring for something this isn't a denial. Well I completely understand if you don't … Alright, well, thanks for the opportunity.
And Scene!
Over the course of the now long departed 2011, many films went in and out of theaters. Consequently, due to my barren wasteland of a checking account, I had to miss quite a lot of them. Then again, what should I expect, having moved out to Los Angeles only a year and a half ago with the bread crumbs of my student loans and no inkling of a job prospect?
BUT NEVER MIND THAT!!!!
January Movie Playlist: 2012 WILL BE OUR DOOM
By Alex
The beginning of any given year is usually a bit of a wasteland for theater releases, as studios understand that most people will be catching up on the 15-30 end-of-last-year rush releases to stay on top of things for awards season. The result is that many January and February movies are kind of like weak Spartan babies being tossed from a cliff (hello, Red Tails). In that spirit, forget theaters, why not stay home and enjoy another Decent Mess Movie Playlist!!
2012 WILL BE OUR DOOM
Well, not until December 21st, according to legend - but there's no reason not to do a little research so we're all prepared for the apocalypse (which will probably be exactly like at least one of these movies.) As always, times are included if you'd like to imbibe these as a marathon. This one's 14 and a half hours. Enjoy!!
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- A wild BATMAN DRINKING GAME VERSION 2 appears!! decentmess.com/?page_id=799 8 months ago
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- decentmess.com/?p=587 :: i gush and ramble about a gruesomely unpleasant movie i totally love in nerdlove: ALIENS (1986) 1 year ago